Did you know that cab drivers don't take quarters for payment? They don't even like it when you ask.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
just caught a 10 year old kid staring at my dick next to me in the urinal. i just nodded to him and said yeah, mines bigger little dude. i gotta stop drinking in public....
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
plus like he's kinda a piece of shit. a beautiful somewhat talented piece of shit that hella needs to get his life together
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