So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
