She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
Then again, I'm single and napping with a stuffed yoda doll...so I'm not the world's authority on shit.
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
