Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
