ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
somebody snuck up and got me drunk
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I just took a bite of a bagel at school and it tasted like weed. If I am high for my test in 2 hours I'm gonna kick someones ass
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
I asked him if we could have sex sometime and he sent me a three page long text about his feelings for me. that's the only possible situation I've ever run into where a "k" response would have been more appropriate.
Randomize
