roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
Randomize
