They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I'm told I threw my cigarettes at the TV one by one Shouting about the cast of Community.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
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