If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
just chased whiskey with a pickle. i definitely recommend it
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
he spent an hour trying to rescue a bug from the sink. turned out to be a sesame seed.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Randomize
