Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Randomize
