Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
