that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Are we still banned from the library?
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
