either way he was missing a nipple.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
Randomize
