rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
I'm both gender and math confused
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
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