i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
1. Why did we have the team Chirstmas party in November 2. Why didn't anyone tell me the coaches were invited 3. Why did coach get the giant vibrator I brought
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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