can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
Randomize
