Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
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