Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Passive mediator is your role in this relationship. My role is dick punching arsonist
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
You know you need to take better care of yourself when shaving reminds you of sheep shearing...
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
