...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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