So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
I woke up hungover and reached for a glass of water only to realize too late that it was vodka sprite with my splooge in it.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
New rule: if someone asks if you would like to snort a xanax the answer is no.
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
Randomize