butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Randomize
