he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Randomize
