fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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