im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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