i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
He is stood at the top of the stairs nursing the stolen cat
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If your find a 12 pack on your doorstep consider it a gentleman's agreement to never speak of that night again
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
You don't make any sense
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