I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just announced to Denny's that I'm not wearing a bra.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
