My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
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