epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
My family just legit passed around a fifth of Maker's Mark. Also, this is sort of a Thanksgiving tradition. Also, Maker's Mark is really good.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
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