There is a stranger person in my roommates bed...
Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
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