holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
Too much gin, very little bucket
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
