Can Purell be used as lube?
life lesson #1: a fart during an awkward silence between 2 strangers doesnt make it less awkward.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
Randomize
