I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
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