Plan B is the new Plan A
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
