hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
all i want is a guy to go down on me while i eat peanutbutter from a jar
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Randomize
