You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
You're an asshole. I don't want your dick as my background. I'll look like I have a thumb fetish.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.