haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
Randomize
