maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
For the amount I put out, I should be going on way more dates.
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
Nobody in the ambulance liked me...
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
Randomize
