we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
Yeah, she tried to drown her but then they hooked up.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Someone younger than me just got married. Send help and vodka
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
