I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
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I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
He asked me if I wanted to play "Edouard Mandevan," turns out that's French for Edward Winehands
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But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Pooping to opera.
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