Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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