i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
Yes I want to fuck your friends but it's out of respect and love for you.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Hey remind me the get the pancakes out of my jacket
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