Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
