Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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