Lost. The hour! Funtime!!!!
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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