Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Is it bad that I stopped wanting to fuck her as soon as I noticed she had dry skin?
I sometimes completely doubt that you're straight.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
Randomize
