trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
