If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize