i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
