you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize
