This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Randomize
