she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
