I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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