Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Actually, you don't want to see me.. reached an all time low drinking kahlua out of the bottle concealed in a macdonalds bag
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
May the power of my ass compel you!!
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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