its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Ok let me just clear up this blowjob thing first so we can talk about your grandpa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
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