She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
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