She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
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He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
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A guy was over-the-skirt fingering me on the dance floor and I stopped him to sensually rap in his ear. So that was my Halloweekend
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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