My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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