My entire childhood was an ugly sweater party
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
I'd go lesbian for $50 and a good phone case.
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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