You were right. It hurts to walk today.
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
I met her daughter,who I went to high school with on my way out this morning. She didn't seem to surprised. I love older women.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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